“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment.” – Chopra
You know that funk that you felt after going to camp as a kid? Where you had so much fun for a week or two, eating bugs and playing games and staying up late (and, if you’re Mitt Romney, holding kids down and shaving their heads), and then you had to go back to the real world?
I feel like that now, except I’m years past the camp age and instead of playing at camp, I spent hours and hours in conference rooms either scribbling madly in my notebook or logging my thoughts on Twitter as one of the semi-official conference Twitterers.
I'm twitching and tweaking and keep seeing magical unicorns in my hotel room. Must be #EPA2012 Twitter withdrawals.
— Joshua Duvauchelle (@joshduv) May 12, 2012
And now it’s all done — and by “it,” I’m talking about the Evangelical Press Association’s annual conference for editors, writers, designers and marketers working in the faith-based industry — and I feel sad. Well, not so much sad, but rather missing what I didn’t know I craved so much: Sharing ideas with like-minded people who are passionate, inspired and driven to excel at the powerful art of creativity.
A few things I appreciated about the week-long conference:
- It was away from home. I’ve been to a lot of training events and writing/editing conferences, and they’ve all been in a familiar city or within driving distance of my home. In contrast, this conference required two flights and was in a city that I knew nothing about. There’s something energizing and stimulating about being in a completely new environment where everything is unknown and even the most mundane task, like finding a grocery store, is an adventure.
- Everyone was open to new ideas, and were excited. The excitement was airborne, viral and contagious (just like Justin Bieber, probably). There were so many times that I got caught up in conversations with strangers and the next thing you knew, it was an hour later and we’d just shared these oh-my-lawwwd-that’s-a-great-idea-for-my-magazine-boooom moments. As we know, the industry is changing for writers, designers and editors — print is struggling, ebooks are giving publishers indigestion, readers are repackaging content via social media, and Kim Kardashian is still around. To keep up with these changes, those of us in the industry need to make giant leaps into strange, alien realms. And it was so inspiring being with hundreds of people making the leap with me.
- Speaking of hundreds of people, the human networks that I found myself immersed in were Narnia-in-my-closet magical. I know some of you are introverts and the concept of “networking” sounds about as appealing as kidney stones, but so am I! Introverted, I mean, not afflicted with kidney stones (knock on composite wood). Yet it was so easy to meet people, because we were all there to share our ideas and our souls. I made so many new friends: wise souls, young souls, souls that spoke so much truth and energy into my life. There were many moments where people said stuff to me that was exactly what I needed, whether it was about love, life or the pursuit of happiness.
If any of you have a chance to go to a writer conference, I would strongly encourage you to do so. The rewards are far beyond anything I could verbally explain. I feel energized and reinvigorated to approach the art in new ways, but more importantly, I look forward to continuing to build the friendships and connections I made.
No man is a failure who has friends! – It’s a Wonderful Life
All writers, even the best of the best, make mistakes. And as an editor, it’s my job to try and catch those mistakes before the project goes to press. Interestingly enough, I’ve found that some of the most common writing mistakes are also the easiest to catch.
1. There’s no “I” in “me.”
When they’re making a sentence, people often choose between “me” and “I” depending on how formal a sentence is. And that’s probably because they’re not quite sure which to use, thus making formality and tone the determining factor. However, it’s really quite easy. When you’re trying to choose between the two, drop all the other secondary subjects in the sentence. For example, let’s say you’re typing out the following sentence: “Jessica and I/me really enjoyed that Cirque show.” If you drop the subject adjacent to “I/me,” you’ll see that it really makes more sense to say “I really enjoyed that Cirque show.”
2. Not reading the Bible.
I don’t mean the Christian book. Every organization, publication, etc. has its own internal style guide. Maybe they’re Canadian and add a “u” to every word possible, or maybe they’re a crazy moon-worshiping religious nonprofit that wants you to capitalize “Moon” in every instance of the word. I instantly put writers on my no-cookie-for-you list if they submit copy that flagrantly disregards any internal style requirements. You don’t need to memorize a magazine’s style when you submit a freelance article, but at least try to get the major points right. It’ll help you land more assignments in the future if you add that extra attention to detail in the beginning.
3. Using jargon/complex words.
Sometimes, big and fancy words and technical terms are necessary. For example, if you’re writing an archaeology story, you should probably refer to it as the “Mamenchisaurus’ femur” and not “the big dino’s drumstick.” However, in 99 percent of the stories you write, it’s always better to use simpler, more direct language. Write for the reader, not your thesaurus or Words With Friends game.
4. Don’t be a punctuation punk.
Know how to properly use an em-dash. And a semicolon. And a colon. And especially an apostrophe. It doesn’t take long to familiarize yourself with common punctuation marks, and nothing makes an editor more frustrated than having to constantly fix your improper usage of apostrophes.
5. Not proofreading.
You’re a writer, not an editor. Sure, but you should still go over your work once or twice before sending it in. And don’t rely on spellcheck to be your proofer. A word could be spelled quite perfectly, but still be the wrong word if it’s in the wrong context.
People enter your life and they change you. They breathe into you and speak life into you. And you don’t even know their name, but they invade your mind and influence the way you do things. And then the things you do go on to affect other people. And on and on and on it goes, all because of a random encounter or an overheard conversation or an almost imperceptible smile at the edge of untouched lips. We all have questions, but we’re surrounded by answers. Living, breathing, walking answers. Live whatever answer you were meant to live, because god knows you create change all around you that you don’t even know.
If you’re not happy right now, what are you doing about it? If something in your life causes you dissatisfaction, what are you doing to change that? If you hate a part of yourself, how are you working to improve yourself?
Today, pledge to do more of what makes you happy and less of what makes you unhappy.
If you’re doing the same thing over and over, and wondering why you’re not filled with joy and radiating energy, you’re probably not doing the right things. Sometimes, the short term may bring pain in order to bring you long-term joy (think: a breakup, a move to a new city, a new job, a new exercise plan), but that should always be the goal: Every day, do what it takes to bring yourself to a place of greater contentment.
Switch things up. Take action. You have total control over your emotions, your life, your future. Don’t wait for others to fix things for you. Move forward, move on, move up.
Namaste.
Attachment to outcome disturbs equanimity, introduces anxiety, and thus increases chances of failure.
— Deepak Chopra
People are like lint. Or like that loose, errant end of the tape roll. We get attached — to things, to people, to situations, to stuff. But things change. Relationships end. Situations take unexpected twists and turns. And in the midst of that, any unhealthy attachments that we’ve developed can steer us toward choices that create pain, hurt and agony.
You’ve seen it many times: a coworker stuck in a dead-end job, or a family member overwhelmed in debt because they’re too attached to their physical goods, or that friend who just can’t seem to get over a past relationship (that ended three years ago). Helloooo, unhealthy attachment!
Unhealthy attachment often arises when we identify ourselves with something outside of ourselves. We get so attached that those external things seem to become a part of who we are. For example, “I am a [job title],” or “I can’t live without [girlfriend's name].”
As soon as something threatens to take those things/situations/people away from us — or worse, those things are actually taken from us — we feel threatened because it’s as if a very portion of our soul is being taken from us. A portion of our identity.
Even worse, our unhealthy attachment creates a fear that unleashes negative emotions and drives us to do things that create a cycle of stuck-ness. We start operating from a place of fear and worry about the future, always scared that something will affect whatever it is we’re attached to. And this in turn creates a constant cycle of discontent, worry, anxiety and chronic unhappiness.
So how to get yourself unstuck? How do you detach so that you can live in the moment, release the past, get over your ex, or whatever else it is that you’re attached to?
It starts with celebrating your self as a Self. Detached. Content. Pure. Powerful in its solidarity. Attach yourself to your Self. Recognize that no part of your identity is found in external things like relationships or cars or jobs.
From this place of contentment and peace, move out into the world. It’s okay to strive for a great job. Or try to get that dream girl. Or to buy that fancy car. But so long as you view these things from a peaceful, detached state, you’re able to fully appreciate them and honor them without stifling or suffocating them with fear, anxiety and your need to control the outcome.
Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.
— The Buddha
Life is chaotic, and I didn’t like that. I used to be the kind of person who had to plan out everything. Where were we going? Who were we meeting? What will we do after? How long does it take to get there? And on and on and on, an endless barrage of questions about the future; a strategy, a plan, a schedule for…for what?
I was spending all this time and energy devoted to a time and a place in the non-existent future — for the future never arrives, but is always and eternally on the horizon — that I could not fully enjoy the present, savoring the moment, tasting the world as it happened and not as it was “going” to happen.
But even worse, I realized that my attempt to plan and organize meant I was picking a single outcome out of an eternal array of outcomes, and focusing so hard on that one predetermined outcome that I ruled out any other possibility. I was cheating myself of opportunity, of excitement, of the billion-and-one other ways that the universe could surprise and delight. I was seeing all those other opportunities as distractions to what I was focusing on, when in reality they all had merit and potential, too.
So, I’ve slowly let go. Not completely. Just a little, like an extra pinch of salt added to life’s soup. And it’s been an amazing adventure. Exploring new neighbourhoods. Ending up at random events and parties. Pondering new ideas and new ways of living. Meeting new people — it’s funny how friendly people are when you smile and say “Hey, how’s it going?”
What if you did that? What if you opened up tomorrow’s gift and said, “I will do whatever happens.” What if you had no predetermined result for the day, but simply experienced the day to its greatest potential? What if, instead of aiming to end up somewhere, you ended up at the best point at the best time? What if you could be anywhere and do anything?
My goal, my unplanned and unscheduled goal, is to have less schedules, live less predictably, and allow myself to do more of what should be done instead of what I think should be done. To let the chaos of life carry me toward a happier, truer, more adventurous self.
Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth.
— Tom Barrett
Sometimes I get random emails asking me how to get started in this writing thang (someone actually used that word in an email once — not even ironically! — and I promptly deleted it).
Unfortunately, I’m not a guru. If I was a guru, I’d probably start by pointing out a few of the common mindsets that are kinda-sorta crippling your career, regardless of the type of writing you want to do — nonfiction, romance, sci-fi, guidebooks on raising ponies…you name it.
1. “I’m an aspiring novelist/writer/journalist/blogger.”
You’re either a blogger, or you’re not a blogger. You’re either a a writer, or you’re not a writer. Stop aspiring and start doing! Action, baby, and it all starts in your head and how you define yourself to your Self. There are far too many people aspiring to take up this craft. Your grandma is an aspiring writer. So is your sister’s hamster. Stop aspiring, right now!
2. “I’m too busy.”
I hear it all the time. “I’m too busy to pitch my query.” “I’m too busy to take on another freelance job.” “I’m too busy to follow that Mavis Beacon thang.” And then those same people are LOLing at some meme or sharing YouTube clips on Facebook or telling me about how awesome last night’s episode of The Voice was. (Until The Voice gets its own One Direction, I’m not even watching)
Face it, you’re not too busy. I won’t say you’re necessarily lazy, but you have definitely prioritized doing nothing over doing something else. Own up to it.
3. “This is gonna go BIG!”
On the flip side of the I’m-too-busy-because-I’m-on-YouTube mindset is the I-will-be-popular-overnight mindset. Hogwarts wasn’t built in a day, young Jedi. Am I getting my mythology mixed up? Well, the Death Star wasn’t built in a day, either. Yes, some writers have blown up relatively quickly, but they’re about as rare as cute poodles. If you’re sitting in a park and a successful NY Times bestseller falls from the sky into your lap, you should immediately call the military because you’re about to be attacked by aliens (a book-writing alien, like Stephenie Meyer).
To be successful at writing, you’ll need to work hard. Blood, sweat and other bodily fluids. My first year of freelancing consisted of 70 to 80 hour work weeks, seven days a week. This stuff is hard work sometimes, and if you’re expecting things to be light and breezy, the first sign of trouble will be devastatingly discouraging.
4. “I’m just going to take one more class.”
I know people who spend 80 percent of their waking moments taking writing workshops, attending writing seminars, joining #writerchats on Twitter and writing…well, nothing. While technical skills and head knowledge are fine and dandy, some things you only learn once you put your pen to the paper.
——-
Don’t let your mindsets hold you back from success. You can do this. The road is bumpy and a little long, but the destination is a pretty rad place.
Tonight, a wise gentleman was sharing his thoughts with me. “Right now, we are in the middle of a Mercury retrograde,” he explained. “It started on March 12th and ends on April 5th. During this time, the Messenger will move through Pegasus, then reverse somewhere over the tail of Cetus. Just like the moon cycles affect the tide, so Mercury’s retrograde affects us. You may experience things like communication breakdown, or someone from the past entering your life once again.”
Oh my gosh, I said to myself. That’s exactly what’s happening! This morning, miscommunication and misconceptions entangled a personal relationship, and just moments before talking to this man, someone significant from a past life made an appearance once again. As this man continued to talk, everything that happened today fit what he was saying. Exactly. To the dot.
Isn’t that funny, though. These occurrences and situations happened, and will continue to happen, regardless of planet retrogrades. Our efforts to turn to the stars, or to fortune tellers or self-help books or television counselors or whatever, is our desperate attempt to make sense of the chaos. It’s our attempt to take our fated realities — by fate, I mean things that are pushed upon us rather than things we consciously choose and work toward — and organize them into boxes, categories, charts and meaning. It is our attempt to control the chaos.
But chaos is the brink of creativity. Chaos and order are two sides of the potentiality coin. And there’s something beautiful about chaos; the randomness and insanity and the freedom to just GO, because there is no category or box or meaning to hold you back.
In our attempt to take everything in our life and stuff it into categories, we miss the chance to live within chaos. We miss the potential that chaos brings, the freedom that the random presents, the liberty that nothing offers.
For a moment, stop categorizing. Stop organizing. Let things happen without labeling them or expecting an outcome. Let situations and occurrences flow in and out of your life freely. Observe these situations and acknowledge them, but don’t attach too much significance or meaning to it.
In that, you embrace the chaos and are more free.
[Addendum: Of course, someone looking for meaning within retrogrades will argue that writers, such as myself, and other "messengers" are affected heavily by Mercury's retrograde, which could be what this is. Or not.]
I’ve got a folder on my laptop full of images, screenshots and other graphical kazzaaaamzzz! that make me feel, think or do. Here are just a handful of the inspiring images that have provoked me this week of March. March with me, will you?
^ We all have way more power than we think.
No one has power over you, other than the power that you give them.
Sometimes, it’s okay to explode and release your creative energy into the world.
^ This takes me back to NYC
in the summer. The hot asphalt.
Lounging on strangers’
concrete stoops.
The city. The energy.
It’s a love story for a new age.
^ The magic of innocence,
of flying; peter pan and
pixie dust.
^ It tastes like nicotine and mystery.
No one knows what goes on behind
every mask we wear.
^ A thousand things to love.
^ Actually. Get off, get out. Namaste.
There’s a rich history behind the season of Lent, dating back to the early popes and becoming a full-fledged ritual shortly after the legalization of Christianity in A.D. 313. It has a complex web of customs, and whether you practice it the way that Socrates Scholasticus reported it was once practiced (i.e., people became vegans for 40 days) or like how today’s postmodern Protestants treat it (i.e., “Dude, totally giving up Facebook for Lent”), it’s all about the same thing — giving something up.
And I’d like to propose throwing that entire idea out. Completely.
I think that too often, we focus on what we’re not. We’re not good enough, fit enough, smart enough, tall enough, blond enough, rich enough, happy enough, musical enough, altruistic enough. Abstaining from Facebook, or not eating a certain kind of food, or whatever it is you’re giving up, won’t make you a better person in itself. Now, I understand the complex spiritual aspect of giving something up in the sense of making room for grace and the divine to work in your life. But I propose a completely opposite take on that, that may potentially do the same thing in your life: Add something.
Yes, add something. For the next 40 days, don’t give up something. Instead, add something to your daily practices that enriches you spiritually, emotionally, physically or all three. Take a class. Start exercising. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Do one nice thing for a random stranger every day. Volunteer at a women’s shelter. Volunteer at church. Start praying. Start meditating. Do yoga. Cook meals for elderly shut-ins. Brush dogs at the animal shelter. Start painting. Start journaling. The opportunities are endless, but start doing something today — and continue on throughout the next 39 days — that adds new meaning, new depth, and new purpose to your life.
